My top 5 weirdest gigs

In reverse order of weirdness.

5.Sam Fay's, Nottingham, England

Playing guitar with Funk/Rock band Dum Dums. The band has a glorious extended funky jam while the singer climbs over the furniture, stands on the back of people's seats whilst getting them to sing along & does impromptu break dancing on the pub floor. He also stops the gig to sing an a Capella version of Stevie Wonder's 'Happy Birthday' to a member of the audience. An almost illegal amount of fun.

4. The Old Vic, Nottingham, England

Playing Drums for Jahan, a Bandary ( Trad. Iranian Bagpipe Music) Band. Headline band ask us to play for half an hour. So we do. Non-stop. On the same beat. (The beat changes slightly when I try to surreptitiously rest one cramped-up limb after another).

3. US Navy Nuclear Submarine Base, Holy Loch, Dunoon, Scotland.

First of 2 nights there. Am kissed by a member of the audience after the solo to 'Sweet Child O' Mine'. Audience member is a very tall, sweaty, female naval officer who later threatens to literally carry me onto the dance floor so I can dance with her. I make excuses and she starts to harass the drummer instead. Very Scared.

2. Mansfield Community Opera Cast Party, Water Meadows Swimming Complex, Mansfield, England.

Foolishly go swimming first, then play bass, as enormous blisters rise on finger after finger of my right hand. Finish the gig playing with my little finger. The trumpet player plays "I'm forever blowing bubbles" with his trumpet under water.

1. Karakum Nightclub, Riga, Latvia.

Play a short Praise & Worship Set on the same bill as a Latvian Hard Rock band. Hastily scribbling the chords for them on a beer mat, they back me on a medley of 'Oh, Our Lord And King' (Alan Rose) and 'God Made Me Funky' (Def Jeff). After no rehearsal whatsoever. Everyone likes it. Especially the bass player who throws his fist in the air and shouts "Yeah" at regular intervals during the song. Totally Surreal.